Where do you find joy?

This is a good question. Everyone is different. Feeling good is not just about fitness and health. It is not about our outward expressions or appearance. We can all fake happy. It is about what makes you happy in your heart and if you know what brings you joy. I think it is about being content. Feeling ok with yourself and being enough. Embracing who you are and being able to let go of things. Forgive and move on. Let go of what others think. I have thought and read a lot about this over the last few years, and realized I was doing many things that didn’t bring me joy. These were choices that I didn’t have to make, but I was for some reason. Did I think they brought me joy? I am not sure, but for the love of life, I want to grab every bit of joy possible while I am here.  It is hard to change, as we all know, but boy change can be really good.

The good stuff…much of my joy comes from my family and just being with them. It doesn’t have to be anything special we are doing, some of the greatest moments of joy are just being together without extra distractions. Watching my kids just “be kids” is pure joy. Can we please just let them be kids? I also get joy from helping others. Giving is such an amazing act of joy, because you know someone else is getting a little bit of goodness as well. My faith gives me joy. Just taking time to talk to God brings some happy into my heart, and sharing it with my kids adds to that joy. Being patient and kind always makes me feel better than getting frustrated. I promise. I know this from a lot of experience and still work on this every single day, especially with some of my most favorite people. Just plain fun and laughter bring lots of good. Some times I think we have replaced laughter with way too much serious these days. I have to add just being able to take in blue skies, butterflies, rainbows, sunsets, the beach, nature, music….and you know this list can go on, but when I was in the rat race…I didn’t always notice these things and I didn’t have time to really enjoy these things.

Some of the stuff that can drain me…the rat race. It is a constant challenge to stay out of the rat race. We have become a place of who is the busiest, and if you aren’t busy all the time, there must be something wrong. Many of us can’t fit it all in, are exhausted or are just trying so hard to do it all. I know how easy it is to get into this. As much as I try not to be, sometimes I still find myself getting caught up in it. It is even harder to get out of it, because then you have to explain why you aren’t doing this, that or the other. The petty gossip is draining. It is everywhere. Been there and yes, I’ve done that. I have never felt any good from it and I never will. Why are we so consumed with criticizing other people’s choices? We should all have at least someone that we can vent to about life, for sure, but unnecessary small talk about others is unsettling. Not being me is exhausting. It is draining to not just be yourself. This can happen so easily sometimes. If you struggle with this, which I sure have over the years, read some of Brene’ Brown’s books. “Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are,” comes from Brene’ Brown in her book The Gifts of Imperfection. Share your time with people who really love YOU for who YOU are. I need to be better at making my friends feel that they can be who they are around me as well. Finally, I try to lower my expectations. This takes a lot of frustration and disappointment away.

So, my question is, where do you find joy? Do you know for sure? Slow down for a few days and feel it. Even on the oh so many tough days we have…oh so many…just stop and find it again. It’s there. Take a moment to yourself and remember what makes you feel good. It might take a lot more than a few minutes when you are frustrated, but it can help. Just stop and just “be” for a few minutes. It is tough to stop, but you have to try. We all need time in the “classroom of silence” as Matthew Kelly says.

As I am writing this, my son is looking out the window and getting the garbage man to honk his horn for him. I think he honked it six times! Glad I was paying enough attention to catch that extra laugh for the day.

Just enjoy today,
Kelley