What Matters Most

Life seems to fly by so quickly. We all feel it. We all talk about it. I hear so many people talk about needing more hours in the day. Where does the time go? How did my kids get so big? We always run into those people in the store that look at you struggling to get through checkout while your kids are asking you for five different things at one time. The kind stranger looks at you and calmly tells you to enjoy every moment, and take it in because it goes by so quickly. I am not going to lie, somedays I agree and somedays I just want to get through that checkout line as quickly as possible, because shopping with these rascals can be draining. Yes it can. On the days when for some odd reason it is not draining, I always find another mom that is in the deep trenches with crazy acting rascals. I usually look at that mom experiencing this drama and tell her I can relate, and to hang in there….my kids can act like that too.

I decided several years ago that my priorities were a little off, and my time and energy needed to be spent in a different way. The days were going by quickly and I was not enjoying the moments. I was working, running a business and juggling being a wife and a mom. Some people are really good at this. I am always amazed how some moms are really good at wearing so many hats. I will be honest…I was struggling. I was feeling empty, ragged, frazzled and close to failing at all my roles. My heart was aching for more quality time with my kids. My heart felt distant from my husband. We had lost our spirit as a family and the joy of engaging in every day life. We were running a machine. A not-so-happy machine. These changes are hard to make. Where do you start? Even if you know where you want to go, it takes time. One step at a time. To eliminate things in your life, and to start saying no is tough, but if you want what matters most to fill your days, you better step up to the challenge.

Each of us will have different wants and needs. The things I needed to change could possibly be very different from what you need to change, and that is ok. We have to find what we each need to fill up our heart and our soul, and to know what matters the most to us and our family. Some changes might be big life adjustments, while others could be small and easier to accomplish. I needed more time with my family and we needed less stress in our lives. After much prayer, selling our business was our first obvious change and challenge. This was a big one, but definitely one that we knew took us down a better path. Smaller changes included saying no to many, many things. Life is busy, even without a business, and we wanted more quality time. We wanted to have time as a family to enjoy each other at a slow, this-is-what-matters-kind-of-pace. Saying no is a big part of living your life as YOU want to. Somehow, it has become almost antisocial and against the grain to say no to something. I can not tell you how many conversations I have had with people that were begrudgingly doing something they could not get out of, or they had to make up an excuse in order to say no. Most of the time this was just for a casual, social engagement. They were more concerned with what people thought of them rather than doing what really mattered to them. Learning to actually respond how you want to respond, whether it is a Yes or No, is the most freeing feeling.

I have read several books over the last few years to help me continue moving down this new path of few travelers, and oh so many wonderful discoveries along the way. Reading helps fill my soul, opens my mind to other possibilities and can give me a new perspective. We are still working on big and small changes. Our kids are now homeschooled…big, wonderful, unplanned change for us. We listen to more music, pray together and have more down time. We have lightened up, try to take ourselves less seriously and laugh more. We take it slow, make sure we are all on board and continue trucking down our new path. Our family is closer, life is better and I see more and more moments of what really matters to me. I actually think it is more the fact that I am just finally noticing the moments. I can actually feel my heart warm when I am calm enough to pay attention and take in the moment. Thank you God. Life is just so much better for me at a little slower pace, and with a lot less distractions.

I do still get distracted by life every now and then. I notice when I get myself in the wrong place, or I am not feeling so good. I have to get myself back on my track. Focusing on what matters is a practice I have to work on every day. I get to do this life thing once, and I want to do my best to fill it with the right stuff, the feel good stuff, and the people that make me feel good. Life is just too short to say yes or no to the wrong things. Your best yes might not always make others happy, so if you are looking to first make others happy, this might not be for you. If it is you and your family you are thinking about…guaranteed, it will make you and your family happier. One day at a time.

You have to decide who you are living your life for. After God, it is for me and my family. We search for what fills us up and we go with that. Friends are important, and its ok to be choosy. As I tell my kids, friends should make you feel good. We should all make each other feel good, but especially those close friends in our life. Lift each other up. Again, life is short, and I want to do this life thing with those that really do care about me for me, and not for what others think of me. I have done that long enough. It takes courage to step out of that box and know that it might not be the most popular place to be, but it is well worth it for the fullness of your heart and soul….and that my friend is what matters.

Enjoy what matters today,