Change Your Focus

Over the last year, my mom has spent more days in a hospital or rehabilitation facility than at home. Challenging for sure, especially on her mental and emotional state. We have been visiting, helping, supporting, bringing milkshakes, coffee and newspapers, and anything else that would give her even just a small boost. My mom is amazing though. She is tough beyond words and her attitude has been unbelievable. She just keeps going. Day after day. One more day. What do we do next, she will say. This too shall pass….words that I always remember as well.

Over the course of this journey, I frequently ask the medical doctors and staff if they have any recommendations as to how to get mom better. Usually, I do not get much of a response other than to eat healthy, which I wholeheartedly agree with and I absolutely push my mom to do. Healthy eating is our conversation on many days. She asks for a milkshake, I bring her a green smoothie with Kale and Spinach. Not always, but sometimes. 🙂

The other day, we were visiting the doctor, once again, and once again I asked my question as to whether there was anything else we could do to help my mom get better for good. It was the physician assistant that was in the room with us at the time. She was comfortably answering our questions, without making us feel like she had somewhere else to be. She first said the usual response of a healthy and nutritious diet, and then proceeded on to more. Yes, more. She looked at my mom and told her that she needed to do anything that would lift her spirit and get her mind off of what she was going through. She needed to boost her mental and emotional well-being. She needed to quit thinking about what the doctors were doing. She needed to breathe life again. Her recommendations?

She said to:

• Go outside every day and take in nature.
• Just look out the window and take in the beauty.
• Laugh with friends.
• Read a book.
• Do a crossword puzzle.
• Knit.
• Do what you enjoy that makes you feel good.
• Watch trash TV if it will make you smile.
• Boost your mood. Boost your mind.
• Take time for something else.

Wow. I sat there in awe. So simple, yet not our focus. The rest was going to happen anyway, so why not change our focus. Change our focus. Take in something else. Take in something good. Something good. Aha. I thought about so many of us. We all have struggles. We are all going through something. That is just life. There is always another challenge when this one passes. Sometimes the challenge is with us for a lifetime. It is tough. Absolutely. Maybe breathing in some good every day will help us to endure the challenge. Lighten the load slightly and balance the heaviness we are feeling. I do believe our mindset and our emotional state are a big part of our physical state. Stop letting the stress take over your days. I am writing to myself as much I am writing to you.

As I was cleaning my moms house this weekend to help boost her when she arrives home this week, I found this tiny piece of paper she had torn out of magazine. It read, Optimism is a cheerful frame of mind that enables a tea kettle to sing though it is in hot water up to its nose! I could not help but laugh. I can absolutely get myself completely overwhelmed in the midst of challenges on some days. Lack of sleep, skipped workouts, and too many things out of my control can lead me to a crazy place. Ask my husband. He knows. But, laughter, music, one good night of sleep, prayer, a healthy conversation with a friend, and breathing in good stuff really do help me to feel better and not so overwhelmed. I just need to get a hold of this more often.

As you hustle your kid to school, notice the sky and what is around you. Amazingly, there is a lot of beauty around you other than all that traffic. Turn on some music and sing with your kids. Change your focus. As you clean the house, put on music and open the blinds. If you are having one of those challenging days with your little one, just stop and go outside. Take a walk. Breathe in the air and find something else to talk about.

Be that person for someone else. You see your friend is struggling today. Try to stop her and just hug her. Make her laugh. Tell her to breathe. Remind her to get back in her car and sing all the way home. We all have challenging days, weeks and sometimes seasons in our life. Yes, seasons in our life. I do believe this was some of the best advice I have ever received from a medical professional. The medical part is given, but the rest is up to us. Breathe life into yourself, and if you are feeling good, help to breathe life into someone else. We all need it…because yes life can be tough.

Enjoy today,

Kelley