10 Habits You Can Start to Let Go of Today to Feel Calmer and More Confident
Yes, water, exercise, and healthy eating are all going to help every one of us feel better. I say to keep it simple, but this can still be a challenge for some of us.
If you keep stopping, losing motivation, and wondering why… it is time to start working on your mind and soul. Letting go of what isn’t good for the health of our mind, makes it a clearer path for us to take care of our whole selves.
Sometimes, it is hard to just keep pushing through, and doing the things that we think can help us. Usually, we have too many road blocks in the way.
When we are struggling to keep up with exercise, eating better, or even getting enough sleep, we should pause a bit, and think about what could be holding us back. It is possible that it is our own mind, thoughts, energy and atmosphere.
I could write an entire post on each of these. For today, for this year, for the love of all the resolutions that fall to the wayside so quickly, let us pause and take a moment to think about each of these.
10 Habits to Let Go of for a Healthier and Happier Mind
This will take every day courage and practice, but let us work to let go of these 10 habits this year, for the health of our mind and our soul.
1. The Old Self
Any part of you that doesn’t serve your best interest, you have to let it go. This takes time, but it starts with your beliefs. If you are constantly thinking you are no good, always impatient, not enough, lazy, or easily irritated….you will be. You have to let go of past mistakes, negative thoughts of yourself and any part of you that doesn’t make you feel good from the past. Your past should shape who you are, and help you learn and grow, not hold you back. You are who you are today, and who you are becoming.
Along with letting go of expectations, you will get the bonus of less disappointment, less guilt, less aggravation and less pressure. Stop creating these expectations in your mind that you and everyone else in your life doesn’t quite meet. This can easily become a habit you think you can’t shake….but you can. Just be deliberate. Let others be who they are, not who you think they should be.
We all have someone in our life, that always has a opinion about what we are doing, and this is fine if they are supporting, helping and encouraging as well. For those that always add a comment that leaves you feeling frustrated, questioning your worth, or even second guessing a dream or something that means something to you, let them go. If you can’t get away from this person, you need boundaries. Think about how you can have less contact with them. If this is someone you truly love, you have to be honest with them. You are capable of telling someone how you truly feel while still coming from a loving place.
4. Your Mean Girl (or boy)
We all have one. Our inner critic. What is she or he telling you each day? Have you truly paid attention? Mine tries to tell me I am not enough, that I can’t get it together, that other people’s opinions matter more than my own. I am sure you can relate. You CAN let the voice go, and be deliberate to change it. You are who you want to be, NOT who your mean girl tells you that you are.
5. Your Upper Limit
This is a limit we have, that when things are good, or improving, somehow we manage to pick a fight with our husband, get frustrated with our kids, or begin to doubt ourselves. It is possible to get through those same moments without reacting that way, because usually this has become a habit for us. Amazingly, you can move beyond this, and have less fights with your husband, more patience with your kids, and less doubt with yourself. The Big Leap is a book that explains the upper limit. When we become aware of what is holding us back, and open to change it, our world becomes what we were hoping for.
6. The Heavy
The thoughts that weigh us down, keep us up at night, and add more frowns and wrinkles than we would like. The actual act of worrying less is possible. This is a deliberate choice when we start worrying, to pause and determine where it is coming from. What are we scared of? What fear is taking over? Make the choice to go to a more hopeful thought, prayer, or gratitude practice. Some worries need us to take steps to give us more comfort, like safety talks with our kids, safety plans, or actions that will help ease our mind. Mel Robbins has given helpful tips about this in her Mindset Reset course. When we confront worry and fear, we CAN take action and change our thought pattern.
7. Energy Suckers
You know who I am talking about. Always negative, always complaining, and sucking the life right out of you, and depending on who this is, sometimes you can just stay clear of them. Other times you can give them encouragement, be there for them, and try to help them get to a better place. Many of us need this. I have been the energy sucker, and I am glad there were people there for me, that just stood by, encouraged, and patiently waited. If this person is close to you, and you love them, be honest with them. Many times, they might not realize how negative they have become. Lead by example, and be patient with those you love, give them love, encouragement, feel good music, and lots of hugs. Sometimes the greatest cure for negativity is unconditional love, patience, and a good ol’ fashion dance party.
8. Super Girl Syndrome
We know about this. We’ve been told to let go of perfection, and stretching ourself too thin. I want to tell you to stop being so hard on yourself for not cooking every night, for ordering out, for the laundry that is still on the table, for forgetting milk at the store, for not calling your mom, for missing your workout, for being late. Whatever it is that you want to do…do it, but quit beating yourself up when you feel that you didn’t measure up. Just stop it already. You are your biggest cheerleader…now go cheer!
9. Comparison and FOMO
We all know this, but keep doing it. Your season, your kids, your dreams, your spouse, you…you are different, and that is special. Embrace what is yours, what God gave you, and embrace it so very much, that you don’t have time to see or think about others. When you turn off (this is your choice) thoughts of others (takes practice), your happiness will increase. Stop chasing a different path than God gave you, your amazing path is right in front of you. This FOMO (fear of missing out) that everyone is talking about…most people are missing out on their own life, because their thoughts are consumed with everyone else’s life. If you are in a tough season, eventually it will pass. God sees you and he is with you every step of the way. Comparison truly is the thief of joy, and it happens instantly.
10. Snoozing on Life
Wake up and live my friends. This life is a gift. Take it in every day. If you are struggling to get going, start with one thing today. You choose. Take time for yourself for at least 10-30 minutes today. Just start getting your life back today. This is one small step at a time. Think small to start. These small changes really will make the biggest difference.
Just like anything, take one at a time. Begin working on these one at a time. Our health and happiness can begin changing today, with one choice. Small changes everyday will eventually make the biggest difference.
Embrace all that is yours and go truly live your life.