We all have days of feeling less than, not enough, or insecure. Even those of us that are extremely grateful, and truly enjoy our life can feel this way. It can be so easy to feel unsettled, and sometimes, not even sure as to why. This is very common, and you are not alone.
Without even realizing it, you can begin comparing your life to others. You can begin seeing others joy, and thinking that there is not enough for you. You see someone else’s kid winning an award, achieving something, and down deep wondering if yours should be doing the same. You see a mom achieving or doing something, and thinking, am I doing enough?
Just to be clear…every one of these thoughts is absolute nonsense.
Comparison is the thief of JOY….period. Stop it.
There is more than enough JOY for everyone….period.
Your kid is unique and special….truly let them be who they are. They are not supposed to be what anyone else is. I truly believe this, but also know that it can be hard to remember when you are in the trenches of parenting. I do not want my kids to follow the crowd. I know that awards are not what makes my kid’s character in line with God. I know that my kid’s heart, and relationship with God, is what I am striving for.
I mean this with every fiber of my being…..STOP being so hard on yourself. Whether you are a mom or not, stop thinking you are not enough. YOU are special and unique, and YOU have your own offering to this world, and it is NOT the same as anyone else’s…..and THAT my friends is super, duper cool. 😉
I am by no means an expert, but over the years, I know that when I start feeling this way, there are things I need to change to help pull me back up.
- Sleep. I immediately do my best to get a good night’s sleep.
- My morning routine. God’s word. Once rested, it is easier to get up early, and spend my first moments in God’s word, whether it is a devotion or prayer. Quiet time in the morning helps make such a difference in my day. I usually read a devotion, pray, and plan my day.
- Exercise. I need to move every day. Our bodies are designed to feel better when we move every day. I promise. Nothing fancy. Just go for a walk, ride a bike, lift some weights. Just get into a routine of moving every day.
- Discipline with Social Media. For me, I have created parameters for myself with social media. I spend time posting encouragement. I also have several positive influencers that I follow each day, because their posts lift me up. I choose not to scroll. I might see a few posts when I go on, but that’s it. I try to spend time on the feeds that I get encouragement from. As much as I like seeing what everyone is doing, I know it is not my best use of time, and it can be draining. I feel best when I am spending time on my own life.
- Focus inward to my family. I think sometimes when we are feeling low, we reach too far out thinking it will make us feel better, especially in this day of social media. That is not what is going to fill you up. “Likes” might give you a temporary fill, but that is about it. Focus into God and into your immediate family in real life. If things are rocky, work to fix them. Yes this is work, but well, well worth the work. Become vulnerable. Hug your kids. Hug your spouse. Hug your parents. Be honest. Give them compliments. Make them feel good and you will feel better. Play a board game. Have dinner together. Have a conversation, a real conversation. Just spend time together. Stop the crazy train, and spend time with them. THIS, for me, is where it is at.
- My purpose. When you truly have purpose, and follow it, you are less distracted. It can be a side hustle, having better family connection, forming a deeper relationship with God, working on your marriage, deepening your relationship with your kids, or maybe building a healthier life for yourself. Your purpose might be more than one focus, and it might change a bit in different seasons. Just working in some way to be better than you were yesterday, and living your best life. Do something productive every day, even if it is small. Every single day you should nurture yourself, and you should grow in some way.
- Gratitude. Looking and finding the good. Be sure you are finding gratitude in your life, and not focusing on what is wrong. There truly is always something to be grateful for. It can be small. It can be hard to see when things are overwhelming, but one step at a time, one thought at a time, you can find your gratitude again. This can just be a shift in mindset and perspective. Be honest with yourself and aware as to what you are focusing on. It is possible to always find the good.
- Meditation. This is new for me this year. I love it, and I long for it. Just a few minutes of quiet time, with either thoughts of nothing or something positive or life changing. Gabby Bernstein is the resource I recommend for this. I am on her third book and it has been life changing.
- Healthy self-talk. Hello. I just had this conversation with a friend. Why are we so kind to others, and unkind to ourselves? Why do we put everyone first, and then let ourselves down, so we feel awful? Be good to yourself first. Talk kind to yourself first. It might seem uncomfortable at first (which is crazy), but start telling yourself how much you love your qualities. Find things about yourself that you truly like. It is not cool to put yourself down. You are your biggest cheerleader. Stop letting yourself down. You need YOU. You just do. So, just stop it already!
- Stop people pleasing and trying to fit in. Be yourself. It might be hard sometimes, but deep down, being true to yourself, IS long term JOY. Being cool and fitting in does not bring you joy. It brings you a temporary lift, and a long-term struggle that will bring you down over and over again.
I would love to hear what helps you to get out of this rut too. Please reply back and send me your go-to’s.
I used to always let things easily take me down. Now when I start to get this feeling, I immediately get intentional about my choices and my focus, and it takes time, but it works. Be aware. Be intentional. Choose well.
Listen, if you are struggling to even get out of bed and see anyone, and every one of these suggestions seems too much, get help. Reach out to someone you trust, or a professional, and be honest. There is help. Start with your doctor if you don’t know where to turn. Take this step and make yourself feel better. It is absolutely possible. One step at a time. One choice at a time. Just one day at a time. Today is always a new day.
Take care of YOU because YOU matter. YOU matter so much.