Our Future

There is so much tragedy, anger and sadness in the world today. For us parents, this is scary as to how much you tell your kids and what you choose to tell them. Every child is different. Some kids know everything that has happened and some parents know their child, and have chosen to keep some from them…absolutely understandable. My oldest knows more than my youngest, and has so many questions. How I answer these questions is what I have chosen to focus on. Regardless of how much your kids know, most importantly is what we can teach them from all of this.

One of the messages I keep hearing since the days of the Orlando tragedy, is to be more compassionate, accepting and kind toward others, especially those that you think might seem different from you. This is a message we need in this world, not only for the big differences in how we live our lives, but also in how we treat each other every single day. Your neighbor, the lady in front of you at the red light, the man at Publix, and your friend who didn’t handle something the way you would. Different strokes for different folks. We are so quick to jump to judgements about people, or just not even notice someone needing a little help, and focusing on ourselves. I try to help my kids be aware of what’s around them….not just focus on themselves. This is hard, but parenting is hard. Truly teaching and parenting I believe is hard, but THIS is what is truly needed for our future generation. More important to me than any sport, grade, award, medal, or college, is the kind of person my kid becomes and their character. We can each make a small difference that contributes to a big difference for the future.

Teach your kids to be patient for the elderly women who is taking a long time in front of you, and teach them to help her in any way they can, or just smile and tell her to have a good day.

Teach your kids to step to the side on the sidewalk when someone else is coming toward you so they can come past.

Teach your kids to say thank you, may I help you, have a good day, nice to meet you, and to just be kind.

Teach your kids to always hold the door open for others that are coming behind them.

Teach your kids that just because another person dresses differently or acts differently, to still be kind and accepting.

There are opportunities every day to lift others up, to learn acceptance of our differences and use compassion. Help your kids to notice these opportunities.

I had to take my mom to get blood work recently. Currently my mom is in a tough situation. She is awaiting another surgery on her knee that became infected. She currently doesn’t have a knee in her right leg. It is difficult for her to get out of the house. She isn’t walking, because she can’t put weight on that leg. She is in a wheelchair. Because of insurance, even though a nurse comes to her house every week, I had to take her to Quest to get blood drawn. Going to get blood work can be an inconvenience even for those of us that are healthy and walking. Getting ready is a process for her. Getting in the car is a process for her. Getting out of the car is a process for her. For those of you that have someone in your life that is always in a wheelchair you know how this is. She is fortunate this is temporary for her. The point of my story is, that when we got to Quest, I was trying to push her through the door, keep the door open, and not hit her leg that has to stay extended, and is very painful right now. There were at least 40 people sitting in the waiting room, and not one person got up to help us get through the door. Not one person. By the time it was my mom’s turn to go through the next door, a young girl had recently arrived and she ran over to help us get through that door. Yes, a young girl. Maybe in her twenties. This is what I want my kids to be. Good job to her parents. Thank you to her. These are the people that are the example, and make a difference for the future.

Another good conversation I believe to have with your kids right now is about respect and choices. Our choices become us. Yes, I teach my kids that we learn from our choices through consequences, and we all make mistakes. As they get older, consequences become bigger and if we don’t learn from our choices, these choices become who we are. When they are older, if they continually get in trouble, they will be know as a troublemaker. Consequences are not given to them from their parents or their teachers once they are grown, but from other authority. How do your kids handle other authority?  How do your kids see you handle other authority? When they get in trouble in class, do you respect their teacher, or side with your kid? When another parent says something to your child, do you teach your child to respect that parent, or are you annoyed that they addressed your kid? Do you teach your kid to treat their coach and umpires with respect, regardless of their calls? Even if you tell teach your kids this, how do they see you handle this? I believe this has changed over the years. Listen, I am far from a perfect parent, and I am making mistakes and learning every day, but every single day I start over and I try and try again. Let us be the small difference to contribute to a bigger difference for the future.

Let us teach our kids that their choices create the trail that they leave behind them, and can affect what a person of authority will think of them before ever meeting them.

Let us teach our kid’s to respect authority, regardless of whether they are right or wrong. There is a way you handle being confronted by authority. We have all been there….Don’t argue. Yes sir, and Yes ma’am, go a long way. Even when my kids didn’t do something, or something was an accident, I encourage them to say, I am sorry if it came across that way. I apologize that you felt that way. Even if it was an accident, choices have consequences. Have a conversation. Address the issue in a respectful way. I don’t just let them walk away irritated at how wrong the other person or parent was. Take the high road. Let’s teach them to respect adults and to respect authority.

Our kids are the future. Our kids have a future. Let us help them to be compassionate, kind, accepting, and respectful people. We can help our future. Your kid can be an example for another kid. Let us take a stand and realize you can make a difference. We can’t all make big differences, but every small act makes a difference. Our kids are a part of the future, whether it is big or small. It all matters. Be a part of the difference that our future needs.