Enjoy the Journey

As I chatted with a friend the other day, he was telling me about his son going for a music evaluation. He was required to go play his instrument for a music teacher at another school. Of course, his son was feeling a little nervous, and his dad was telling me about his pep talk. He told him that he shouldn’t worry about what the evaluator thought, nor should he even think about what grade he would get. Success, he told him, was enjoying the process. Enjoy what you play and enjoy the music as you play it…..oh my, why yes. I thought about this all day. All day long. I thought about homeschooling. I thought about baseball season starting. I thought about my writing. Of course, I thought about life, goals and on and on and on.

We hear this message in so many different ways. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the ride. Take time to smell the roses. But really, have you thought about it as success. We all have goals, but will you feel successful when you reach them,  if you haven’t really enjoyed the process to get there, by actually taking it all in and finding the good along the way.

I have to relate this right now to sports. My kids love sports. I love sports. As this ran through my mind all week, and I thought about life and what I considered success, I kept going back to my kids, and their sports. Baseball and softball were at the front of my mind since the spring season is cranking back up. I really do love sports. I love competition. I love the passion. I love the smiles on the kids faces. I love watching them work as a team. I love watching them improve. There is so much good in sports, with so many good character building lessons to learn, but at the same time, like many things, there can be some serious stress and drama in sports. No way…right? As most sport parents know, and if I asked, they could all give me an earful about experiences they have had, if their child plays any type of youth sports. Can’t we just enjoy the game?

So as we start our spring season of sports, whatever your kids choice may be….let us all remember to enjoy the journey. In order to enjoy the journey, and help our kids enjoy the journey, let us all lighten up and have some fun. Let’s truly teach our kids about character, good sportsmanship and having fun. As much as I believe this wholeheartedly, I need this reminder every season as well.

I get it…you want your kids to do their best, so encourage them, cheer for them, but don’t yell at them. Let them play ball. This includes the drive home from the game. Unless they clocked a kid, kicked a kid, or disrespected someone on the field, tell them how much you enjoyed watching them play.

When they make mistakes, encourage them to get up and try again. Mistakes happen. We learn from our mistakes, but we can’t be afraid of making mistakes. They know they messed up. Don’t shake your head disappointingly from the stands. I see parents shake their head when their kid messes up. This crushes the kid, because they do see their parents shake their head. Are they really not allowed to mess up? I would rather my kid make mistakes trying, than not to try at all. When their buddy makes a mistake, they will learn to give them an encouraging, “good try buddy”.

If you feel that your kid isn’t getting a fair shake, communicate your thoughts. Many times there might be a reason for the coaches decision. Have a conversation with the coach, not with the people in the stands. You might be surprised how much better you feel after.

Do not talk about the other kids on the team. You would be surprised who hears you. Every kid has different strengths. Maybe my kid is strong in sports, but not in music. Does that mean I shouldn’t let him try out for chorus, or band or even take piano lessons? No. Kids should be able to try things, even if the activity might not be their strength. You know the kid on your team that loves music, and his parents really want him to have a chance on a team trying a sport? Yes….let’s encourage him too. He will have more fun if we are cheering for him. It takes a lot of courage for anyone, especially a kid, to walk into an element that is uncomfortable, especially in front of a lot of people watching.

Let us thank the volunteers, instead of criticize them. It takes a lot of time, work, and energy to coach, organize leagues, be a team mom, umpire, referee, and do all of the jobs that volunteers do. It is not always fun. It can be stressful. Overall, they are trying to do the best for the league and the kids. I know there can be exceptions, but they are still volunteers. Most volunteers are trying their best. Let us give them a fair shake and take the time to thank them. Everyone will enjoy the game more.

Let us teach our kids that umpires and referees are people too. Most are volunteers or possibly young kids as well. This is not the majors. This is not professional ball. This is a game. Let us not teach our kids that we yell at them or disrespect them. Let us not teach our kids that their calls can be our “excuse” as to why we lost a game. Even if the call is why we lost the game. I get it. I am competitive. I like to win, but what is a better lesson for your kid? Teach them to play hard, encourage their teammates and enjoy the game.

Our kids are going to have challenging seasons, rough games, tough coaches, slumps, and more. They will make the mistake that loses the game. They will feel like they could have played better. They will want to quit at times. These challenges are big for them, and will wear on us. We have to endure these times and help them to grow from each experience. This is where character and strength comes from. For us and for them. Embrace the struggles, embrace the mistakes and help them learn from them. This is what makes them, and you, a better person. Let’s develop the person, not just the player.

Sometimes it is hard, but let us take the high road this season. Let us be positive, encouraging and excited about these kids getting out on stage and doing their best to play the game. Yes…let’s let them play the game. Cheer for them. Cheer for their teammates. Cheer for their buddies on the other team. Think about what you say, how you say it and who you say it to. Your kids are watching and they want to have fun. Let’s teach them to enjoy the game.

Play hard. Have fun. Let’s teach them how to truly enjoy the journey, not just try to win the game.