Be Intentional

This is the first time I have sat down to write in a few weeks. I have been trying to disconnect (slightly) from unnecessary distractions and connect more with my family. We all have a variety of distractions, some more challenging than others. It is tough not to get distracted, but can be so very rewarding. Several years ago I realized each member of my family was in a different place, and I knew there needed to be changes. The rat race had got the best of us, and I wanted out. Little by little we have made changes that have made all the difference in our lives.

These are choices we make daily, and every day it can be a struggle. We have responsibilities. We have jobs. We have extended family and friends. We have life. Life pulls on us from many directions every day with new challenges and possibilities. How we choose to handle these ups and downs affects our family. So, call me crazy, but I do not want someone else to call the shots for our life. I want my family to be close, be happy, be themselves, see this world, and really live life. Not only do I want to be in the moment with my family, but I want to be intentional about what I do in those moments. I am reading Hands Free Mama right now, and this book speaks to me on so many levels. I have been talking about this crazy, busy world for awhile and wanting to get out of the rat race and slow down. She writes about it all so well and how to savor the moments. We should all take time to at least read her intentions and reflections if nothing else. Today from her book I read:

Today let me appreciate the gifts in the mundane, ordinary moments that are graciously given to me. Because even though they are far from perfect…and sometimes they are messy and hard…these are the moments that make up a lifetime.

Well said Rachel Macy Stafford and thank you. Yes, I have many messy, hard moments, but I am so thankful they are mine…and if I want to be anything, I want to be more intentional in these moments. Intentional means doing things on purpose and being deliberate, and really trying to live by our values and beliefs. I am going to do my best every day and hope that you will come along with me, because this can be hard. Getting in the arena and really engaging can be hard, but this is our life, and the people we love, and it all matters a whole bunch to us. So here we go.

Be intentional when connecting with your family. Have conversations at dinner. Put your phone down when your family is together and let everyone know that you are present. Tell them how much they mean to you. Ask them about their dreams, what they love and where they want to visit. Ask them what was the high and low of their day. Have a game night. Play UNO, Monopoly or another game with them. When they ask questions…take the time to really answer them. Give more hugs and kisses every single day.

Be intentional every day with your spouse. Be open and honest and vulnerable. Talk to them. Try and try again. The approach and tone are so important. Tell them how you feel. Do something you have not done in years. Hold their hand. Hug them a little longer than usual. Tell them how good of a father they are. Make something they love for dinner that you have not made in awhile. Never stop trying with your spouse. There are always days when one of us needs more help than the other.

Be intentional with your kids. Get in the pool and play Marco Polo or Sharks and Minnows with them…oh yes, yes you can. You will have fun and they will have more fun. This hot mess mama ended up at the bottom of the pool with my tush hanging out of my bikini bottoms and goggles filled with water, trying to get away from my 5 year old shark. This was at a public pool too. Oh yes I did and I would do it again, because it was fun and my kids thought it was hysterical.

Be intentional when choosing your words. Words can hurt, and harsh words can be remembered for a long time. Encouraging words can make all the difference in the world. Kind and encouraging words can deepen your relationship and bring you closer, especially with your family. Tell them the good stuff. Remind them of the many reasons you love them. Compliment them. Fill their bucket and love them with your words.

Be intentional when listening. Let them talk, and make sure they know you are listening. Let them know that what they are saying is important to you. Do not talk until they are done. Look them in the eye and listen. Do not do anything else while they are talking. If you stop and listen, they will open up more. If they open up to you, hug them and thank them for trusting you and talking to you. Comfort them for being vulnerable and honest with you.

Be intentional with kindness. Kindness matters. It matters so much. We need more of just simple kind gestures. It is too easy sometimes with our family to just go through the motions. A nice tone when you speak goes a long way. Smile when your kids or your spouse walks into the room. Facial expressions can say so much. Compliments and small gestures can go a long way. This goes for all relationships and everyone we encounter every day.

Be intentional with your conversations. When with those close to you, talk about the deep stuff, the stuff that is harder to talk about. Talk about life. Talk about dreams. Talk about kids, vacations, school or pets. We all have so many ideas and thoughts in our heads. Share them. With others, there is much more than petty gossip to talk about. Get to know someone, rather than critiquing someone else.

Be intentional with your hopes and dreams. Never lose your hopes and dreams. Keep them close and always inspire and move toward them.

Be intentional with your health. Need I say more?

Be intentional in being yourself. Be who you are. Believe in who you are and never feel the pressure to be something else. It is hard with all the pressures, but nothing is more fulfilling than being yourself and people loving you for YOU.

Be intentional in your prayer. Stop during your day and pray. Just stop. Stop, several times, breathe and talk to God. Tell him your feelings, your worries and what you are thankful for.

live intentionally Be intentional. Be in the moment. Take in the moment and engage in the moment. It matters. It matters to you and those you love. It is hard, but we get a chance to try again every day.